The Pentagram Of Life

Enlighten Me, O Darkness

2010-10-20T23:33:00.000-07:00

Why is it that I search for the all illuminating darkness? Why do I look for the truth in the black, the light in the dark, the thorn in the rose, the knife in velvet? I think it is because colours unchain themselves before my eyes when my world is in black and white. Then I can filter out those social antipathies, stigmas and conformation. But to what end? It is to the end.

Truth lies within the darkest limits of one’s existence, in the cold black corner of every heart, and like the all Seeing Eye it flickers in the moments of doubt, moments that question the sorrows of the past, the white lies that shade your dreams, that light your fires of hell. But it’s the all encompassing madness that makes the darkness come to the fore, the insanity of being able to weed out the little points of light in a galaxy of make believe and pantomimes in the carousel of life. The dark ride begins inside, deep down where no religion, no tradition and no family can influence. It is where the soul departs on its trip through the vortex of self belief. The black dominions are deeper than any emotion, hatred or love. They surpass the fading subconscious mind, the shrouded mind and the feigned heart in a never ending journey within the kingdoms of what you are, what you need to be and who you are.

The dream of gardens, temples and palaces are in a faraway world, a world of dances, deities and disharmonic functioning. In the white kingdoms, blood feuds, kings of the cannibal creations, human disarray walk the barren lands of tortured souls. In the white kingdoms lie the serpents of forgotten wisdom, the claws of clandestine reality, the teeth of sharpened falsifications and the talons of sins unwritten.

Why do we search for life in the white and mix in it the colours of false lives? What we do to contradict our own lives, our own existence to live? Where do we draw the line between existence and living? The diffused glow of existence grays even the shining white of living. The depth of the dominions of the known mind far surpasses the superficial existence at the highest plane of society.

The Hourglass

2010-10-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been, could have been. But life is how it should have been. No better, no worse. I think life alone has given me the wonder to suspend my disbelief and let my imagination wander and the mind introspect.

The truth is not on the lips, nor is the writing on the wall. The root of all evil is doubt, and in my mind I have no doubt that what I’m doing today, be as it may against convention and against all tradition, is the roght thing for me to do. I see it causing harm around me, I see it bringing tears and I see it realizing fears. But this is my dream, my life and this is my road, the only road that I’ll ever walk, the only road I’ll ever build and all that walks with me is my faith and my belief. Today, I’ve done what most of you will never do in a lifetime, and many lifetimes after that. I have walked out on two dreams set for me by my parents and I’ve never looked back. If life for me was an hourglass, I have no time for regrets, I have no time for doubt and whatever be the consequences of my actions, and I’ve drawn my sword to fight it.

People around try to point out how much hurt and pain I’m causing, but tell me, can I live a life of pain, regret and disillusionment just to make one happy? Isn’t that against all one lives for? If not, then why live? Today I don’t just exist, I live. You ask me why I have this brash attitude, why this self obsessed arrogance, this sycophancy toward myself and this insanity? I give you one word in answer – reality.

What do you think drives the weak? Is it not the fight for survival? To exist just one more day, to eke out another second from life’s ebbing tide. If the weak are driven by the fight for survival, then I am driven by the fight for existence. I don’t want to live another shelf life, a life born of plans, plans and more plans. Yes, there are certain things I must do to maintain the balance of family, fortune, fame and desire. But of course, home is where the heart is, but where you place your heart finally, is where you build home. For that you can’t be alone. Sometimes, companionship far outweighs the added plusses of being able to get food, shelter and sex wherever and whenever. That’s when the hypnotism of what appears to be your life shatters your notions and the broken glass pieces call on you to rebuild, renovate and re-energize into the universal search for freedom.

I’ve reached a point of no return, nor do I want to return. How did it come to this you ask me, how? The answer’s pretty simple: the hourglass and narcosynthesis of your own mind. I’ve alienated myself at various times from food, shelter and clothing in different extremeties and then alienated the sub sets of these – family, friends and lovers. Call this selfishness and obsessiveness, but it’s worked. Today, I know which of these matter most to me, all three and once you’ve tasted the blood upon your lips, you know the next sip is the sweetest wine.

During the narcosynthesis, everyone hates you for your ideals, everyone looks upon you as vermin and you are left alone. People learn to hate you, they crucisfy your ideals, your thoughts and your actions, you bleed, you bleed endlessly, till you wonder if this experiment is really worth it all, but then you see the sands of time filtering through. That’s when you begin envisioning your future, one that holds your dream in the fragile hourglass and time, time is running out.

It isn’t easy to feel like you’ve laid the kiss of Judas on the cheeks of your near and dear ones, but you must, if you want life to begin making sense. The sins you escape are the sins your detractors commit. Time is the greatest healer as well as the greatest concealer.

Today I walk the path of self-realisation, the journey has only begun, but it’s one that didn’t come easy, didn’t come without sacrifices and didn’t come without emotional dehydration, pain and remorse. But it’s a journey that has taught me one thing, if I never did it this way, I’d never live…

The Death of God

2010-10-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

God is dead. So said Friedrich Nietzsche. But I’m not here to second what he said. I’m here to say that god is dead and nihilism is alive. Nihilism is the new world order, not in the world you and I inhabit, but in the world that must be. Look at what will happen now: one, there’d be no contest to who was the first true god; two, there’d be a confusion as to how god died and that’d take forever to solve; three, natural disasters will finally be what they really are, natural disasters and not the act of god; and o four, we’ll have enough place on earth to accommodate religious critics...

With the death of god comes the realisation that evil too is an illusion, of the fact that evil existed as long as god existed. So why question what is right and what is wrong? After all there existed god and there existed god’s nemesis. Until god existed we believed that society forms the rules, that the world is composed of boundaries, that the hail and the waters will wash away our sins and that retribution was proportionate to the life we led. God is dead, for there is nothing to live for. Who amongst us will resurrect god in the pure image god is alleged to possess? None. The believers of Christianity will resurrect him in the image of Christ, those of the Hindu religion will resurrect him in the images of their gods and the followers of Islam will resurrect the Prophet. But who is god? Is god a picture or an image, or is god the one thing that balances the scales between the necropolis of our souls and the gates of heaven?

I’m here on this planet because I am meant to be. What I am meant to be is determined not by the fate that god throws upon me, but the path of thorns that I choose over the path of roses. Not to say that I couldn’t have chosen the path of roses, but then when roses decay, they become food for the soil, but thorns live and die in a single state of being.

Behold the coming of the truth, and it isn’t part of the holy books. The world is on fire, at least theoretically, if only one can see past the manufactured life visions and states of being, to evolve, with the relativity of time, to form a new world order, to form the very spine of life – an existence of life, and not a life of existence.

Look at what’s gone before – death, wars, natural disasters, all a somber reminder of the darkness that envelopes the light even on the brightest day, but is not death the beginning of life anew? Is not war the harbinger of fate amongst humans and is not a natural disaster a scientific event? Indeed these are true, and god does not have a role to play in life nor in death, and god does not guard the gates to heaven and evil does not reside in hell. It is our combined diarrhea of false beliefs and an inherent fear of taught wrong that drives man to be weak. Man is not meant to be weak, man is not meant to follow patterns, but that’s what he does. Man follows patterns drawn amongst the ashes of the dead, unknowingly to his grave.

What lies beneath is the breath of a new world order, the beginning of an event that will re-write history that will create the revolution of thought and the revolution of life within. The revolution is the death of belief in god and his existence and it’s a glorious burden no more. Wake up to the coming of the winter sun, the rising of the molten waters and the burning of acid rain. We are here, in a world of confusion, in a web of lies, waiting to reform, rebuild and exist.

Death of the Mind

2010-10-20T23:27:00.000-07:00

A world without rules. A world in chaos. A world without fear. A world without control. Imagine what that would be like…

Today’s world has no place for the truth, no place for thinkers, no place for a genius. What we need is a world torn of its rules, its roots and its beliefs. We need a brave new world. Society is made up of schemers and deceivers, shattering dreams like glass with each footstep. Brainwashers exist in every aspect of life – in your head and in your heart. Gone are the times when love was pure, even love is veiled poison nowadays. What we have now is nothing but a future that was a promise, but now is a threat.

We live everyday looking at what we’re going to do tomorrow. What if that tomorrow never comes? We follow rules today in the light of what we may achieve tomorrow. Every day on earth is our last. We cannot plan to live for tomorrow when we have no control over the world and its madness.

The madness of the crowds is the anathema. Here we are, a mass of people, all with mechanized death on our hands, trudging to and fro our master’s dominions to slave. And while we slave we leave behind another moment of our life.

We’re obliged to pretend we have respect for people, institutions, rules and traditions that we think are useless forever living in cowardice and self-pity despising moral and social conventions that we condemn. Yet we march to our grave, silent in our fate, determined in our madness. From the cradle to the grave we are condemned to burn, to burn in pretence of civilization, to burn in the madness of a world of rules made by man.

What about your ideas, your thoughts, your desires? Do you want them to die with you in unmarked graves? What about what you want in life? Do you want to follow the path of the absurd or do you want to tread a new one. Today’s world is morally defunct, yet it screams out loud that morality is integral. I’d say, much like Two-Face, “the only morality in a cruel world is chance”.

Our will to breathe is fogged by our machine headed obligation to be destroyed. We are hastening the coming of the end, where our revolutions, our wars and our battles will be forgotten in the misery of the Bush wars and the like. Tell me why do we live our lives in fear? Only because those who rule want us to feat their hands. Decimate their false world of rule and you will begin a revolution. A revolution of thought, a revolution of freedom, a revolution of chaos.

Society is like a prostitute, you can never satisfy it, but you pay it for your satisfaction. It’s an addiction to be part of society, an addiction of the brain-dead. An intolerable conflict. Sooner or later you will lose all joy of life, because all rules do is suppress and restrain your true self. The wounds of a cruel world will never heal.

The only way out is to begin this revolution, the revolution that is calling. A revolution of chaos to build us a new world – a world without rules and fear, a world without the blackened eyes of dictators staring down at you, a world without shattered dreams, a world without you and me. It’s calling, there’s a revolution calling.

Leave This World Behind

2010-10-20T23:24:00.000-07:00

Not often am I left without words or opinions. But here I am. I think I’m over possessive. But I don’t care. I don’t care because I care too much. I care too much about something that means more than this world to me. And if this is the only thing that I care about, so much so that it pains me, then I must really care about it. And I do. I don’t lie.

I don’t know why those that were think that they have an option to walk back into something they were part of, but aren’t anymore. There is no option. And there is just one road out – the dead end road. It’s only a matter of time before my patience runs out and my wrath knows no bounds if brought about in a manner I do not like. I’m not scared of destroying another life to protect mine; it’s the survival of the fittest and the law of tooth and claw, showing no mercy. For you my friend, hell awaits.

Sometimes I feel like people test me because they think I don’t understand these things, but I do. I’m too far gone into insanity to be sane and I really don’t care. I can walk away from everything I have and not care a damn. But there is one thing I care about and I will never walk away from it. I will protect it like the territorial tiger, without emotion, sympathy or feeling. There is never any good that comes from doing good unto others – how often have I experienced that…

When you take on a brave new world, you leave the world as you know it behind. Otherwise you can never live in a brave new world; instead you fall into the spaces between.

Call me what you will – a territorial asshole or an unfeeling brute, but the truth of the matter is I really don’t give a shit about anything that was, all that matters today is what is and what will be…and if I cannot change the past, I will change today and tomorrow…

Before I leave you, let me say that I am the menace in your eyes, the one you can’t escape…you may pray to your god to help but my strength is no match for him…blowing holes in your head is what’s stirring my aggression…

Socievil

2010-10-20T23:22:00.000-07:00

For the purpose of this argument, let the word “socievil” be known as a word yet unknown to the English dictionary but very much alive.

The reason I chose this word is because often we contemplate the meaning of the term evil – from the beginning of religion, we have heard this term time and time again. The depredations of those considered evil are definitely noteworthy and often unforgivable. But do they really deserve the tag of evil? I do not think so – Hitler, Mussolini, Crowley…the names conjure up visions of brutality and forced submission, but again, I think not.

Society has made me evil. I think I should be an anarchist. Being an anarchist gives me the right to wage war against the faggots of society, the hypocritical bastard sons and daughters of societal rules. Society itself is the greatest sin that ever befell the world and the luminaries amongst us worship it.

You ask me why. Why because I live in a world hemmed in by rules of the land. And trust me if I could live anywhere else in the solar system I would. I just don’t know how to go about it.

Society throws upon me the most ridiculous rules, incongruous functioning of what we call a ‘civilized society’…well I say fuck civilization.

Sometimes I think its worth giving up everybody and everything in society to achieve one second of mental peace, oh but no! Why would someone want me to have peace of mind, it’s against their principles of life…

Plain and simple if we had no societal rules we’d be animals. Nothing bad about that I see. I see only a world of “do as thou wilt”, yet we suppress our natural basic desires to follow a path preached by some holy men and women. If we live for nothing, then we die for nothing. Why die for nothing?

Society is comprised of the vilest women and men this world will ever see – the practitioners of every crime conceivable and yet they will preach to you the ‘goodness of life’…yeah fuck you all!!!

Anarchy is the answer; anarchy is the only real world. Chaos cannot be reigned in. Chaos and anarchy will free you. Believe in a world of no rules, no society and no desperation, only freedom. The path to vanity is through a believer, the path to infinity through an unbeliever.

A great man once said ‘the most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we reallhy are: a subtle kind of murder.’ And I am inclined to agree.

The world needs a hero, an anarchist. The world needs chaos. Chaos and disorder. Hail anarchy!!! Fuck society!!!

The Evilness of Time

2010-10-20T23:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel it is necessary to define time as evil. Reason being time defines who we are, what we do and why we do what we do and how. Those scientists may argue that this is called evolution, but then why does evolution need to define how time builds a man? Or for that matter how time breaks down a man?

Look at it this way: time makes prisoners of us all, we’re guarded against the passing of time, using our reasoning power and logical thinking to decide what’s best at this moment and what’s not. For e.g. if the world needed to come to a consensus on global warming, why is it that we wait until a global conference on global warming is held to create awareness? Or for e.g. why do office timings remain glued to a global standard when work is created and delivered 24/7? It seems only reasonable that it is convenient for the people of today to rely on time to do what they need to at a particular, preset moment. How boring.

What if I say that time stands irrelevant and evolution itself bears testimony to the fact. The age of dinosaurs began approximately 220 million years ago and we’ve gone through 2.5 billion years of oxygen. So why this fixation with time…what difference does it make now that we’ve lived, as humans, for a million years that we begin to dissect what life was like before we made it. With what conviction do we define us as being authoritative figures in defining time periods? Darwin coined evolution, but did he coin time? I think not. Time therefore should remain irrelevant to achieve perfect synchronicity between astral systems. The reason I say this is because while we are hell bent on searching for life on other planets, we leave behind time which for us may be years, hours, etc but in terms of spacial evolution, these might be at either end of the spectrum, so while we keep speculating when what took place in the universe, the universe itself blooms or is broken down.

Time waits for no man it is said, rather should be man waits for no time. We grow older every day, but is that what makes us be seen as responsible persons, of marriageable age, of societal position? It is time that defines our downfall. Why shouldn’t a child be treated as an adult the moment he is born? Yes, an absolutely ridiculous thought I agree, but if we are so damned good at programming climate control, then why can’t we programme an evolution that doesn’t define time. Why fornicate only when you can? Why eat a meal only at meal times? Why close bars and restaurants to sleep? The human mind and body can never stop wanting and needing, and these aren’t necessarily defined by time’s whims and fancies.

I’m not entirely sure, but I do think that dinosaurs and whatever else came before them didn’t appreciate the beauty of the two hands of the clock. They chomped away at gigantic plants as if time was non-existent, turned the earth into piles of dung at any time they wished, and perished at the end of their turn. That is the point I’m making. When we all know that life is but a cycle, that repeats itself, why then do we succumb to the evil of time? After all, you, as I, are here to enjoy what we call life for but an atom of countless universal spacial moments.

Life's Suicide

2010-10-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

Have you traded your life for a role? Sold your heart for stones? I think you have. Most of the time you put on an act because most people love you for who you pretend to be. You keep pretending and performing and finally fall in love with your own act. You're then locked in to that act, and the key seems to be lost forever.

You are blinded by the light that appears out of the cracks in the wall, you are blinded by the fact that this is what you get in return and it feels good. But does it really feel good? Do you play for the madness of the crowds? Do you play for fame? Do you play for immortality? All your life you will slave to the grind to appease the masters of destruction - you're brainwashed, drowning in self-pity, weak and have no control over your actions. You fall at the feet of those who hasten your end, who drain your senses and those who bring you to shame...all because you let them own you. Why? Is not your heart, mind, body and soul yours alone?

You ask why. Why because you cannot accept freedom that comes your way, simply because too much of your plastic life will be lost. You lose sight of the high and mighty, the riches and the glamour. All in all you're just another brick in the wall of lost dreams. Build that wall high my friend, and it shall become your tomb. You're part of the mass hypnotism that has diseased our world today, you're nothing but a blood sucker from a dead life.

Look at the world today - it runs on chaos and disorder, that is the order. It runs on the whims and fancies of the world and it's leaders - arms, terrorism, wars...they contribute to running a world that keeps on turning. If peace ruled, would you ever have a mind? No...peace cannot rule, but for a revolution to take place, the seeds of change need planting in you.

Fear not the evil that rules the world, for it is a necessity. Fear not the darkness, for it is your strength. Fear not the unknown, for it is never real. Fear not life, for it is only certain as death. Fear just one - fear yourself and your false crown of thorns, fear your life in the act you assume, fear your conscience for it tells you the truth about you...fear you and you alone...

Commit mandatory suicide and you will find the real you, away from the act, away from the role, away from the crowds, away from the world...and heaven can wait...

I, Freakshow

2010-10-20T23:17:00.001-07:00

I am a freak and you know it. You feel it. You need it. You want it. Freakshow, freakomaniac, freako...call me what you want, I am a freak. And you despise me because I cannot be your valued friend. I cannot be trusted to maintain decorum, yet part of you wants to be me. A tragic paradox. You do not want to be me, yet you want to, you do not want me, yet you do. I do not care what you think about me. You may not like what you see and I'm not here to preach to you. I have nothing you can buy. I have nothing that you need, but that fleeting glimpse of a sliver of madness.

I am a drifter, a wanderer, a nomad and no one cares whether I live or die, so my life is my own. I don't need you to judge the person I am or my worth in society. I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart, you don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue...if you did you'd do the same thing too...so here I am, a freak to the world, a jester, a joker, an entertainer - this is what you want of me, and you shall get it. Because you need it. You need a laugh, a thing to point your finger at, and that is me...I am your evening's entertainment, I am your prime time TV. Bring it on, take from me what you can never have.

I am the one the world will never accept because I don't belong here. I am not a victim but an accident of birth. So many ask the question "who am I?"...I am this, I am that and I am everything that I want to be. I cannot be what you want me to be. To you I am nothing but another drop in the ocean, a fly on the wall. But I am the one that flaps my wings in the Antarctic and you'll feel my effects in the Arctic...I am that.

Isn't it strange that all you want from me is satisfaction? You strip me of my pride and my values and yet I give you what you want. But you, you hide behind me when the world comes looking. You are a coward. You want from me emotional, sexual satisfaction and whatever else the world describes as satisfaction..yet do you stand and take all that for me? No,because you are a leech. A leech of the world's whims and fancies. Your brains are boiled in ideals and you'll perish in them. But who am I? I am the one that brings you freedom, yet you do not accept, because it is against all you've learned and been taught. I am all the world warns you of. I am the one you love to hate. Because you cannot be me, for you have too much to lose. But I have nothing to lose. I am already lost. Lost to reason, lost to the world and lost to humanity. You cannot find me in paradise, you will find me in a burning hell.

You curse me, you ridicule me, you abuse me, yet you want to be me. I will take the bullet that was meant for you. I stand by your side when you need me. I am but a fleeting second in your lifetime. I am him, the one that is a loser in your eyes...because you cannot break your walls down. You are a parasite that feeds on the global meltdown - media, mass paranoia, religious devastation, social obligations and economical deformity - these are your ills, but you sleep with them because it brings you to an orgasm...an orgasm of filth and depravity. You consume your shallow life in a foreplay with no climax because you cannot deal with malfunction...you cannot deal with chaos. Chaos, is a new world order. Chaos is chaos. Chaos is real. Chaos is your sixth sense. Chaos is life. Chaos is death. Why are you afraid of me? Because I am chaos.

So my friend till we meet again...fuck off!!!

Only one can bring me what I'm looking for...Venus.

This is My Time

2010-10-20T23:14:00.002-07:00

You question my past and my present and doubt if I'll make the future. You bring with you the vices of a thousand generations and the poisoned reason of failures across the millenia. Who are you to question me? You are nothing but a megalomaniac, a pathetic parasite and a disgrace to all that the world has given you...your name is the unbeliever, because you don't believe in the fact that I've done what you couldn't...and you can't take it no more can you?

Every moment that you waste in planning my downfall, I grow stronger. Where the will of the heart and the mind meet, no will of yours can deface. I am here now, and you were, go now, to the lands of your kind...where men die without honour, just as they lived. For now, you are one of them, one of those bastard sons and daughters of life, where all you can ever do is wish that you'd been me...but I am I and you are a nobody...

You think you've got revenge on your hand, but I am past all revenge, I am past all the garbage that the earth throws at me and I am my own present and I will be my own future. I will walk the path I choose, hand in hand with my freedom, with my head held high because I am master of this war. And you, lying there in the mud, all broken and battered, but yet, you do not learn. Pray then, and tell me do you deserve a second chance? Unbeliever, when freedom was yours to take, you laughed at its face and turned it away, and yet it followed you...until I reigned it in.

Your time is past, this is the dawning of a new age, my age, where I rule what is mine and where you nor the world can drench my kindgom with the rain of spite...be assured, that should you wage war against me, my army shall lead you straight to your grave...go now when the light shows you the way home and reflect on chances lost, not one, not two, but a thousand...

The Dark Ride

2010-10-20T23:14:00.000-07:00

Why do we try and explain the black forever? The black lies right in the middle of the white and is a part of every human. When we choose to embrace the black it only means that we are in deeper touch with who we truly are. The white is us as we appear in the eyes of the world. The black is us as we appear in the eyes of the insanse.

Why do I embrace the darkness you ask...well, my friend, the answer is simple...I am the darkness that embraces me, and I am I, I live in a world of illusions and sometimes to see the only real image, I retreat into my own space, a space beyond the vision of mankind, a space beyond the human mind, to find that one true image.

A strange new world welcomes me, where all my tears have been washed away and my fears disappear, where my mind rules and the dark ride begins. The dark ride to the deepest craters of the moon, where my heart bleeds as I prick myself with the needles of truth. And deeper and deeper goes the blade of hatred against all that stands against me. I cannot do this when I am in the white, because my mind is clouded by reason, hence I choose the darkness.

To be able to strangle conscience and conformities, I sabotage reasoned thought and turn it into free thought, and I pay the price for my actions in the real world, in the white. I become isolated, an outcast, a non-conformist and a black sheep...but when my life is mine alone, do I really care about what the world thinks? I think everyone does have the right to choose the path he or she takes and the right to make everything for themselves, for when our lives end, it is we who burn in the ashes and not those we lived a life of lies for.

In the white, I believe in nothing, because all that is around is a white lie. A lie that will twist and turn with you as you sleep and bring the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse roaring into your nightmares...

I believe in what belief tells me and I believe in the power of being able to delve into my dark spaces and find strength to fight the real world. Call me a coward if you may, but I'm not the one that ran from pain, hatred, betrayal and anger, I stood...and I will continue to stand and fight...I am the one you, society, loves to hate...

At the Edge of Time

2010-10-20T23:09:00.000-07:00

When we stand at the edge of time do we remember what brought us here? Do we answer the sycophant with a blade of terror in his hand? Or do we answer our souls? How does it feel to touch the end of life with your finger and transcend? Is your heart riddled with sorrow and regret or is it overflowing with a life lived to its full?

Life is too short to worry about what comes tomorrow...only today can lead to tomorrow. A yesterday can never be a tomorrow...the past forever will remain the past, but the here and the now will become the present and transcend into the future.

Everyday is possibly our last day - what then are we going to change? Are we going to stand by and let society's parasites dictate terms on how we should live our lives? Or will we follow the path to rot that we've been told to follow? Or shall we go bravely down the road less travelled and walk barefeet over stones and thorns, yet taste freedom and truth? Are we going to change the way we treat our loved ones? Are we going to enjoy every moment as if it were our last? Or are we going to question the existence of a moment in the light of what's been taught to us?

Society is here to annihilate free will and a free mind - but we do have a choice...do we leave all behind to fly beyond the rainbow? Or do we live with a blade stuck in our hearts, and die a slow, painful, labourious death?

At the edge of time no one will save you - no messiah, no promised god, no angel, no demon...you will be your own saviour. Religion is here as society's puppet - to thrust in your face the right, wrong, good and evil all of which is burnt to black when all that separates you from this world is a narrow valley running millions of feet in depth...looking down into the valley of evermore what will you look back and say?

Abandoning all set rules of the game may not be the best option, but when survival is critical all conditioning is thrown to the wind...and the eternal game begins...the hunter and the hunted...but ask yourself this one question - do you live your today based on what you've been taught yesterday to realise tomorrow?...if so then your grave will be shallower than ever...

I am a prince of the damned, I will forever live in the shadows because society has failed to tolerate me and I them...in a darkened paradise I live as king of all I see. And when I stand at the edge of time I will look back at a life that was lived to its full - blood, sweat and tears of my own accord...my rules and my game...

Prayer For The Dying

2010-10-20T23:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what changes when we pray? The answer is nothing. Or if there is a change, it's only in our faith, we pray that our faith will be rewarded and are happy in the knowledge that we've left our faith to a higher power. Or so we think.

Justify for one second, the time spent praying on unanswered prayers. The faith that we have in religion will prove our undoing sooner than later. Our stone gods will come crashing down, our holy books will be torn to shreds and our crosses will sink into the ground. Nothing ever changes when we pray.

We pray because we do not have the strength to counter life and the obstacles it throws across our paths and we depend on an unknown and untested being to supply us with strength. That is how weak the human race is, and faith, is what drives the weak toward certain destruction. The human mind is weak, the human heart is weak when faced with adversity. But the human heart does have hope, the hope to start afresh, but this is where faith and hope meet on a blurred line.

In hope, we must have faith, for hope is eternal and will keep us fighting on the path to discovery. Hope is true, hope is real and hope will never die. But even god will fail, that is the miserable beliefs that we call god, will fail.

We fail as humans because we cannot overcome our societal norms and ideals, and we continue to rot in the graves of hell as we slip deeper and deeper into self sorrow and pity, when all we need to do is make a choice...life has given us the freedom to make a choice and that choice we will...if we are strong enough.

In god we trust and in god we rust. God cannot be defined for you, you must define god in what you find most relevant and honest and your true self.

Dispossess yourself of the greed for power and lust for acceptance, the kingdom of the empire of self realisation will only shine forth when the hour is darkest. And the hour is darkest just before the dawn.

The Blackest Lie

2010-10-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

When I look back at the reason why I sidelined religious beliefs, I find that the reason is in the very faith that it professes. The darkness of a religion is its enlightenment. It preaches terms of love, peace, forgiveness, acceptance and understanding. With these pillars of faith, any civilization would have stood the test of time…but history does prove me wrong doesn’t it?

Religion did not bring cultures together, nor did it glue them together in a time capsule, rather it forced people and beliefs further and further apart. Today’s ignorance of global war, economic downturn and general apathy of races all have their root in religion. But, at the same time, it must be said that the men and women who run religions are amongst the cleverest in the world, for it does take a significant amount of guile and deceit to blind true faith to blacken logic.

Everyday my elders ask me to embrace religion and their “god”, to see the “light” at the end of the tunnel. But, do I need to? Am I convinced that religion is the way to go? Am I convinced that my life will turn out for the better? Do I know that everything in life will fall into place as a result of following religion? The answer is a clear “no”. The chance to believe in religion is something that doesn’t afford the slightest logic or reason. Actually, it throws open the door to embrace something far more apparent, adhesive and endearing…the love of reasoning that any particular item that comprises matter, can actually be a religion. It only depends on what you seek and what you shall find. If you seek love, you’ll find it, if you seek pain, it’ll always be around you and if you seek the rain, the clouds shall always hover over you.

To me, the fact, that a certain something has always been around to alleviate the moments of threat and suffering and to bask in the glory of overcoming difficulties or to just smile through the brightest rays is reason enough to believe that religion and its gods are not limited to immortality. The gods and their religions exist within us all, in forms that our minds and hearts can barely decipher, let alone accept. Our thought and practices are poisoned with the arrows of religion. The gods of religions are blasphemous hypocrites buried in their own shame and made out to live lives of the holy. The houses of the holy are whorehouses of the soul, built to rape every single human heart of its dignity and truth. The crosses of faith are but thorns wrapped in rose petals to lead the unbelievers into blind faith and a sure dead end.

When we walk across the sands of time, our lives are in our hands, not in the hands of a certain someone that promises to hold our hands across choppy waters and the like, their soft words turn to acid. When we sell our heart for stones, the cut is always the deepest.

In religion can never be found truth, rather a black lie that will twist the arteries of your life around a heart of stolen faith if you do not find the strength to stand up and face the demons of reason within you.

The Godlessness of Existence

2010-10-20T23:04:00.000-07:00

Life is a godless endeavour. Religion changed the face of us all, nations burnt nations, a race arose from those ashes, and they'll burn again. Born, we are one, in death we are one, but in life we are many. Today is planted the seed of mistrust. Today is planted the seed of the demon king called power. Power, a misused term, an abused term.

Where is sanity, we find it in the midst of every human heart, shallow as a pond, decaying every passing moment.Where are the foundations of spirituality? Lying beside the shattered priest and his mistress. There is no god, there is no religion, there is only chaos. Chaos theory. There is nothing left in the burnt out shell of a world that hosted a million tribes. We are the end of civilization. We are the beginning of the end. We are the final product of death's construction.Everything is an illusion of reality, even news is fabricated. Truth exists between the lines, the lines are political statements uttered from the mouths of the puppets. Puppet masters, on their thrones of gold, rake in the moolah as our life is shredded apart with no sympathy for the devil. The devil is in us all, the evil of reailty. A death here and rape there are but drops in the ocean, the race will never end, no blood is enough, no money is enough.

The end is upon us, but so strong is the human will to suck even more that we will live on till we can bleed no more.Every generation is set back a hundred years. The next great civilsation will be earth reborn. Free from the leeches that inherit battle-torn countries, free from the lepers of production, free from the mindless zillion who walk upon the land and squash their own dreams.From within we extract the power to live another day, to mourn the living, to pain the living.

There is no god, there never will be. There is no god, there never can be. Everything reeks of mistrust and greed, corruption and lust - so what? isn't this what we fight for? A gun in the hands of a 7 year old Lebanese, the bullet in the womb of a 15 year old. So what? Who cares? Another piece of lead tears skin, we've got the replacements. One dead, a million born.The arms race is raking in a fortune, America runs the ammunition into an African country, war ravages only because the provision most obtainable is a cheap fire-arm, nothing makes sense, yet it's a government. This is life, the vicious circle and there's nothing wrong or right about it.Acid burns through each false promise, but there's always a million more to follow. We exalt in the name of the lord, who is he? or she?Every stone that we step over is dripping with the blood of our enemy, man. Walking in shadows eternal, we sing our praises.Religion has screwed us all, brought one man down upon another. Any facet of religion brings with it it's thought of power.

Power is an unsatiated lust. A lust that never dies. And it kills.In a moment of truth there's a vision - a vision of the earth in it's dying hours...not a soul will walk the earth when we've sucked out her life. Emaciated millions will form the layer of bone that will make fertile earth again, maggots and worms will feast on the dead for centuries to come, vultures will scavenge the mortal remains of our high and mighty. When our end is always met with dust, why do we walk with such pride? Humility was never a friend of mankind, mankind has never been a friend of god, god has never been part of this race. The cycle will come a full circle.

Raptures of Succubi

2010-10-20T22:58:00.000-07:00

Inside my mind there is a place that stays away from discovery to the outside world. Sometimes people try to read it all, but they can never.

Just think of how many words I waste before I'm understood, how many moments are lost in flailing speech for society when everything that needs to be done occurs in the supernova of the mind.

This is a place I can do no wrong, a place where judgement is left to the beholder. Why does someone want to know what doesn't concern them? Life's an open book, the mind a never ending canvas to the soul, bared to the most truthful of all - myself.

People ask why and why not, I'm afraid the answer lies in being in transported to a land of the free, a land of unknown possibilities, to a place away from here, unspoilt by the soiled trod a human foot. A land where I am king, and my queen is my thought, where the subjects of my court are the most hated foes of society.

Do you see what I see? You see truth as a virtue, I see it as a silent offender. You can never hear what I hear, never see what i see. You live in this convoluted colony and shut out your imagination. You believe in the lies that rule your world, the lies that dictate your future, the lies that make you a fallen hero, the lies that build your castles and the lies that sleep in your graves.

When the world is burning, everyone walks away, so why trust in someone that only trusts in fear? Distress makes you express what you want to take and who takes it from you. Everything on the face is absurd - they talk about a constitution of free speech and expression, then pray, tell me why society looks upon me as vermin?

Sometimes I feel cheated of my youth, this lie was turned into truth. Churning visions of all that was, now mixed in a cauldron of nightmares that kill the thought of happiness. Sadness used to walk these barren lands, now it's long forgotten and despised. Everything is inconsequential except that which is most precious to you - your thought of where, what, when and how you want to live your own life. How does it make sense to live according to societal convenience, when all that you're doing is providing oral sex to the administrators of destruction?

Maybe tomorrow is a better day, and maybe yesterday was the best. Maybe today is the day I remember most, because in my mind, the world holds no place, the heart tells no tales and a spiritual moment is experienced that can never come close to anything that man has to offer in reality or in his false existence. When you walk beside me, you walk alone.

My eyes are that of a stranger

2010-10-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

The only constant in the wheel of civilization is change. But somewhere down the line we happen to lose sight of the possibilities that change might bring and instead dwell on the ill-effects. This is a simple constriction of the human mind. Looking at this broadly, maybe a small measure of sense can be made by addressing two factors: conditioning of the human mind; and the battle within.

Man was always meant to be a superior race. The superior being, or science, created man in an image of what already existed with modifications that sought to improve his functionality. Unfortunately, with the advance thinking power available with him, man also lost sight of rationale.

Man is afraid to embrace the new world, a brave new world, a world which does not embrace conventionalism. In the time that it has taken us to follow convention, we have lost a great deal of time in preparing for the future or rather, looking into it.

From the time we are brought into this world, our mind is affected with cosmetic and moral changes that begin to intertwine themselves into our very own functioning. Religion, god, beliefs, faith, etc begin to play an active role in our lives. And in a diminishing majority, we see that these very beliefs are the simple reasons why man does not want to explore possibilities of alternatives in moral or physical standards of existence. Why are we afraid to clone humans or re-create life? Because the so-called holy guardians of mankind will not accept this line of thought. It is pure blasphemy in their eyes. And since half the known world is under the rule of the church, such a line of thought is not allowed to perforate even the most luminous scientific mind that is capable of kick starting a revolution. We are not free even though we preach freedom and equality. Man’s mind is a constant wheel of motion, and that cannot be stopped by a mere preaching of a holy text. Without conventional thought, freedom acquires a new meaning; else it remains leashed to the dungeons of aborted wisdom.

Even in everyday life we are afraid to look one step further into a realm of possibility, but when we reach out we find ourselves clutching at thin air. This is because the mind is not in sync with the mechanism of life. Life will go on, and the more we suppress that fact, the closer to a quicker and painful end we hasten.

As mankind heads into tomorrow he launches himself into a paradox. We consistently want to embrace change, but are we embracing change according to the whims and fancies of rulers of our moral self?

The greatest battle that man can ever fight lies within. Afraid to accept that what lies inside is what makes us the greatest cowards of all. Courage can never be defined unless fear is faced with the fire of strength, no matter how utterly hopeless any situation might be. Mankind has been given the resources of thought and action, and if we use it to keep hiding, nothing in life will move forward. The brave new world lies within reach, closer than we think it is.

People always turn away from the eyes of a stranger, afraid of what lies behind the stare. The very eyes of a stranger are the eyes that stare back at us when we delve deeper into ourselves looking for reasons and answers, continually begging the question as to what lies beyond.

The moment we accept that our greatest battle lies within, and the fight to climb out of that torn shell that clouds our judgment, the human race will be a stronger one. Every man should be able to follow his thought with a befitting action rather than a befitting lie. Often, we are unable to come to terms with the unfortunate things that happen to us. But the recovery is completely up to us. It doesn’t make sense to cry over things that seemingly have hurt us deeply. Avenging this fate can only be done with courage to stand up and kick thought into motion. Tough and desolate as it may be, we can only come out stronger. It takes forever to stand up and take control of our innermost troubles, but the freedom that follows is paradisiacal.

Every moment of reckoning is fraught with fear and an air of uncertainty. At this fragile moment, is where man makes an important decision – to go ahead with life or fall to its pressures? Life is never worth giving up, the simple fact that we’re born for a reason should justify that our life burns out by itself and not forcibly.

If we are able to think freely and set the wheels of change in our own lives in motion and come to terms with the hurt and fragmentary issues that hold us to ransom we are on the path to what our forefathers in the forgotten world called freedom of speech, thought and action.

Walls of Sand

2010-10-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

I lie upon the sand and the sea shells wash up against my feet. The grains of sand finds nooks and corners of my skin to settle in. The salt licks my skin an leaves it's taste behind. As I lie watching the waters rise higher I feel myself being washed away by the waves.

The froth covers me in a white blanket, one moment I'm warm, the next I'm cold. The waters wash over me with a warm touch, but when they're gone I'm cold again. I feel like I'm watching my world come rushing at me in a torrent of rage, but the very next moment it's a carpet that I float on.

The night surrounds me. All I can hear is the waves lashing up against this deserted beach. The waters seem to call out to me, to take me in their never ending depth; to be one with their world, to explore their universe deep down below.

The world is a swirling mass of white and blue, but it's swirling in peace. There is no burden on those waves. From afar they bring the walls of sand castles down with them. It is the history of the world, building castles only to watch them washed away in contempt by mother nature.

The moon and the stars seem to smile upon me. I watch as the moon is hidden behind a cloud and appears again. Fascinated, I let the waves come in higher. With every ebb my world comes back to me and is taken away again. When will the waters be strong enough to drag me away?

A kite soars past the clouds and for a moment he's silhoutted against the darkening moon. There's a shade of pale yellow and a black shape seems to have stuck itself right in between. The moon pulls the waves farther up the shore and I feel myself being pulled under.

It's a world I've dreamt of, deep down in the waters blue, with no one to help and no one to know, life could just be peaceful. Swim with the fish and sleep with the sea horses. On the sea bed I'd make friends with the plankton and the eels. They'd keep me safe from a shipwreck.

I built those walls around me in my life just like the ones on the beach. Now the walls around me are crumbling, and I'm swimming in an ocean of warmth. I feel no remorse nor pity. I feel I'm free, I feel I can live without pain and sadness, I am in bliss.

The waves crash over me like a thousand stones, I'm sinking deeper into the unfathomed deep. My world was once protected by four walls, those walls sink deep with me.

There are no tears and there are no screams. The sea bed is my grave and the water my coffin. But it's a peaceful death, one that takes me away from the sand on that beach, the sand that I trusted, the sand that I built my walls upon and the sands of time that held my footprints. But they're all washed away by that quiet force, the ruler of all that is earth - water.