I, Freakshow

I am a freak and you know it. You feel it. You need it. You want it. Freakshow, freakomaniac, freako...call me what you want, I am a freak. And you despise me because I cannot be your valued friend. I cannot be trusted to maintain decorum, yet part of you wants to be me. A tragic paradox. You do not want to be me, yet you want to, you do not want me, yet you do. I do not care what you think about me. You may not like what you see and I'm not here to preach to you. I have nothing you can buy. I have nothing that you need, but that fleeting glimpse of a sliver of madness.

I am a drifter, a wanderer, a nomad and no one cares whether I live or die, so my life is my own. I don't need you to judge the person I am or my worth in society. I've had every promise broken, there's anger in my heart, you don't know what it's like, you don't have a clue...if you did you'd do the same thing too...so here I am, a freak to the world, a jester, a joker, an entertainer - this is what you want of me, and you shall get it. Because you need it. You need a laugh, a thing to point your finger at, and that is me...I am your evening's entertainment, I am your prime time TV. Bring it on, take from me what you can never have.

I am the one the world will never accept because I don't belong here. I am not a victim but an accident of birth. So many ask the question "who am I?"...I am this, I am that and I am everything that I want to be. I cannot be what you want me to be. To you I am nothing but another drop in the ocean, a fly on the wall. But I am the one that flaps my wings in the Antarctic and you'll feel my effects in the Arctic...I am that.

Isn't it strange that all you want from me is satisfaction? You strip me of my pride and my values and yet I give you what you want. But you, you hide behind me when the world comes looking. You are a coward. You want from me emotional, sexual satisfaction and whatever else the world describes as satisfaction..yet do you stand and take all that for me? No,because you are a leech. A leech of the world's whims and fancies. Your brains are boiled in ideals and you'll perish in them. But who am I? I am the one that brings you freedom, yet you do not accept, because it is against all you've learned and been taught. I am all the world warns you of. I am the one you love to hate. Because you cannot be me, for you have too much to lose. But I have nothing to lose. I am already lost. Lost to reason, lost to the world and lost to humanity. You cannot find me in paradise, you will find me in a burning hell.

You curse me, you ridicule me, you abuse me, yet you want to be me. I will take the bullet that was meant for you. I stand by your side when you need me. I am but a fleeting second in your lifetime. I am him, the one that is a loser in your eyes...because you cannot break your walls down. You are a parasite that feeds on the global meltdown - media, mass paranoia, religious devastation, social obligations and economical deformity - these are your ills, but you sleep with them because it brings you to an orgasm...an orgasm of filth and depravity. You consume your shallow life in a foreplay with no climax because you cannot deal with malfunction...you cannot deal with chaos. Chaos, is a new world order. Chaos is chaos. Chaos is real. Chaos is your sixth sense. Chaos is life. Chaos is death. Why are you afraid of me? Because I am chaos.

So my friend till we meet again...fuck off!!!

Only one can bring me what I'm looking for...Venus.