Enlighten Me, O Darkness

Why is it that I search for the all illuminating darkness? Why do I look for the truth in the black, the light in the dark, the thorn in the rose, the knife in velvet? I think it is because colours unchain themselves before my eyes when my world is in black and white. Then I can filter out those social antipathies, stigmas and conformation. But to what end? It is to the end.

Truth lies within the darkest limits of one’s existence, in the cold black corner of every heart, and like the all Seeing Eye it flickers in the moments of doubt, moments that question the sorrows of the past, the white lies that shade your dreams, that light your fires of hell. But it’s the all encompassing madness that makes the darkness come to the fore, the insanity of being able to weed out the little points of light in a galaxy of make believe and pantomimes in the carousel of life. The dark ride begins inside, deep down where no religion, no tradition and no family can influence. It is where the soul departs on its trip through the vortex of self belief. The black dominions are deeper than any emotion, hatred or love. They surpass the fading subconscious mind, the shrouded mind and the feigned heart in a never ending journey within the kingdoms of what you are, what you need to be and who you are.

The dream of gardens, temples and palaces are in a faraway world, a world of dances, deities and disharmonic functioning. In the white kingdoms, blood feuds, kings of the cannibal creations, human disarray walk the barren lands of tortured souls. In the white kingdoms lie the serpents of forgotten wisdom, the claws of clandestine reality, the teeth of sharpened falsifications and the talons of sins unwritten.

Why do we search for life in the white and mix in it the colours of false lives? What we do to contradict our own lives, our own existence to live? Where do we draw the line between existence and living? The diffused glow of existence grays even the shining white of living. The depth of the dominions of the known mind far surpasses the superficial existence at the highest plane of society.

The Hourglass

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been, could have been. But life is how it should have been. No better, no worse. I think life alone has given me the wonder to suspend my disbelief and let my imagination wander and the mind introspect.

The truth is not on the lips, nor is the writing on the wall. The root of all evil is doubt, and in my mind I have no doubt that what I’m doing today, be as it may against convention and against all tradition, is the roght thing for me to do. I see it causing harm around me, I see it bringing tears and I see it realizing fears. But this is my dream, my life and this is my road, the only road that I’ll ever walk, the only road I’ll ever build and all that walks with me is my faith and my belief. Today, I’ve done what most of you will never do in a lifetime, and many lifetimes after that. I have walked out on two dreams set for me by my parents and I’ve never looked back. If life for me was an hourglass, I have no time for regrets, I have no time for doubt and whatever be the consequences of my actions, and I’ve drawn my sword to fight it.

People around try to point out how much hurt and pain I’m causing, but tell me, can I live a life of pain, regret and disillusionment just to make one happy? Isn’t that against all one lives for? If not, then why live? Today I don’t just exist, I live. You ask me why I have this brash attitude, why this self obsessed arrogance, this sycophancy toward myself and this insanity? I give you one word in answer – reality.

What do you think drives the weak? Is it not the fight for survival? To exist just one more day, to eke out another second from life’s ebbing tide. If the weak are driven by the fight for survival, then I am driven by the fight for existence. I don’t want to live another shelf life, a life born of plans, plans and more plans. Yes, there are certain things I must do to maintain the balance of family, fortune, fame and desire. But of course, home is where the heart is, but where you place your heart finally, is where you build home. For that you can’t be alone. Sometimes, companionship far outweighs the added plusses of being able to get food, shelter and sex wherever and whenever. That’s when the hypnotism of what appears to be your life shatters your notions and the broken glass pieces call on you to rebuild, renovate and re-energize into the universal search for freedom.

I’ve reached a point of no return, nor do I want to return. How did it come to this you ask me, how? The answer’s pretty simple: the hourglass and narcosynthesis of your own mind. I’ve alienated myself at various times from food, shelter and clothing in different extremeties and then alienated the sub sets of these – family, friends and lovers. Call this selfishness and obsessiveness, but it’s worked. Today, I know which of these matter most to me, all three and once you’ve tasted the blood upon your lips, you know the next sip is the sweetest wine.

During the narcosynthesis, everyone hates you for your ideals, everyone looks upon you as vermin and you are left alone. People learn to hate you, they crucisfy your ideals, your thoughts and your actions, you bleed, you bleed endlessly, till you wonder if this experiment is really worth it all, but then you see the sands of time filtering through. That’s when you begin envisioning your future, one that holds your dream in the fragile hourglass and time, time is running out.

It isn’t easy to feel like you’ve laid the kiss of Judas on the cheeks of your near and dear ones, but you must, if you want life to begin making sense. The sins you escape are the sins your detractors commit. Time is the greatest healer as well as the greatest concealer.

Today I walk the path of self-realisation, the journey has only begun, but it’s one that didn’t come easy, didn’t come without sacrifices and didn’t come without emotional dehydration, pain and remorse. But it’s a journey that has taught me one thing, if I never did it this way, I’d never live…

The Death of God

God is dead. So said Friedrich Nietzsche. But I’m not here to second what he said. I’m here to say that god is dead and nihilism is alive. Nihilism is the new world order, not in the world you and I inhabit, but in the world that must be. Look at what will happen now: one, there’d be no contest to who was the first true god; two, there’d be a confusion as to how god died and that’d take forever to solve; three, natural disasters will finally be what they really are, natural disasters and not the act of god; and o four, we’ll have enough place on earth to accommodate religious critics...

With the death of god comes the realisation that evil too is an illusion, of the fact that evil existed as long as god existed. So why question what is right and what is wrong? After all there existed god and there existed god’s nemesis. Until god existed we believed that society forms the rules, that the world is composed of boundaries, that the hail and the waters will wash away our sins and that retribution was proportionate to the life we led. God is dead, for there is nothing to live for. Who amongst us will resurrect god in the pure image god is alleged to possess? None. The believers of Christianity will resurrect him in the image of Christ, those of the Hindu religion will resurrect him in the images of their gods and the followers of Islam will resurrect the Prophet. But who is god? Is god a picture or an image, or is god the one thing that balances the scales between the necropolis of our souls and the gates of heaven?

I’m here on this planet because I am meant to be. What I am meant to be is determined not by the fate that god throws upon me, but the path of thorns that I choose over the path of roses. Not to say that I couldn’t have chosen the path of roses, but then when roses decay, they become food for the soil, but thorns live and die in a single state of being.

Behold the coming of the truth, and it isn’t part of the holy books. The world is on fire, at least theoretically, if only one can see past the manufactured life visions and states of being, to evolve, with the relativity of time, to form a new world order, to form the very spine of life – an existence of life, and not a life of existence.

Look at what’s gone before – death, wars, natural disasters, all a somber reminder of the darkness that envelopes the light even on the brightest day, but is not death the beginning of life anew? Is not war the harbinger of fate amongst humans and is not a natural disaster a scientific event? Indeed these are true, and god does not have a role to play in life nor in death, and god does not guard the gates to heaven and evil does not reside in hell. It is our combined diarrhea of false beliefs and an inherent fear of taught wrong that drives man to be weak. Man is not meant to be weak, man is not meant to follow patterns, but that’s what he does. Man follows patterns drawn amongst the ashes of the dead, unknowingly to his grave.

What lies beneath is the breath of a new world order, the beginning of an event that will re-write history that will create the revolution of thought and the revolution of life within. The revolution is the death of belief in god and his existence and it’s a glorious burden no more. Wake up to the coming of the winter sun, the rising of the molten waters and the burning of acid rain. We are here, in a world of confusion, in a web of lies, waiting to reform, rebuild and exist.

Death of the Mind

A world without rules. A world in chaos. A world without fear. A world without control. Imagine what that would be like…

Today’s world has no place for the truth, no place for thinkers, no place for a genius. What we need is a world torn of its rules, its roots and its beliefs. We need a brave new world. Society is made up of schemers and deceivers, shattering dreams like glass with each footstep. Brainwashers exist in every aspect of life – in your head and in your heart. Gone are the times when love was pure, even love is veiled poison nowadays. What we have now is nothing but a future that was a promise, but now is a threat.

We live everyday looking at what we’re going to do tomorrow. What if that tomorrow never comes? We follow rules today in the light of what we may achieve tomorrow. Every day on earth is our last. We cannot plan to live for tomorrow when we have no control over the world and its madness.

The madness of the crowds is the anathema. Here we are, a mass of people, all with mechanized death on our hands, trudging to and fro our master’s dominions to slave. And while we slave we leave behind another moment of our life.

We’re obliged to pretend we have respect for people, institutions, rules and traditions that we think are useless forever living in cowardice and self-pity despising moral and social conventions that we condemn. Yet we march to our grave, silent in our fate, determined in our madness. From the cradle to the grave we are condemned to burn, to burn in pretence of civilization, to burn in the madness of a world of rules made by man.

What about your ideas, your thoughts, your desires? Do you want them to die with you in unmarked graves? What about what you want in life? Do you want to follow the path of the absurd or do you want to tread a new one. Today’s world is morally defunct, yet it screams out loud that morality is integral. I’d say, much like Two-Face, “the only morality in a cruel world is chance”.

Our will to breathe is fogged by our machine headed obligation to be destroyed. We are hastening the coming of the end, where our revolutions, our wars and our battles will be forgotten in the misery of the Bush wars and the like. Tell me why do we live our lives in fear? Only because those who rule want us to feat their hands. Decimate their false world of rule and you will begin a revolution. A revolution of thought, a revolution of freedom, a revolution of chaos.

Society is like a prostitute, you can never satisfy it, but you pay it for your satisfaction. It’s an addiction to be part of society, an addiction of the brain-dead. An intolerable conflict. Sooner or later you will lose all joy of life, because all rules do is suppress and restrain your true self. The wounds of a cruel world will never heal.

The only way out is to begin this revolution, the revolution that is calling. A revolution of chaos to build us a new world – a world without rules and fear, a world without the blackened eyes of dictators staring down at you, a world without shattered dreams, a world without you and me. It’s calling, there’s a revolution calling.

Leave This World Behind

Not often am I left without words or opinions. But here I am. I think I’m over possessive. But I don’t care. I don’t care because I care too much. I care too much about something that means more than this world to me. And if this is the only thing that I care about, so much so that it pains me, then I must really care about it. And I do. I don’t lie.

I don’t know why those that were think that they have an option to walk back into something they were part of, but aren’t anymore. There is no option. And there is just one road out – the dead end road. It’s only a matter of time before my patience runs out and my wrath knows no bounds if brought about in a manner I do not like. I’m not scared of destroying another life to protect mine; it’s the survival of the fittest and the law of tooth and claw, showing no mercy. For you my friend, hell awaits.

Sometimes I feel like people test me because they think I don’t understand these things, but I do. I’m too far gone into insanity to be sane and I really don’t care. I can walk away from everything I have and not care a damn. But there is one thing I care about and I will never walk away from it. I will protect it like the territorial tiger, without emotion, sympathy or feeling. There is never any good that comes from doing good unto others – how often have I experienced that…

When you take on a brave new world, you leave the world as you know it behind. Otherwise you can never live in a brave new world; instead you fall into the spaces between.

Call me what you will – a territorial asshole or an unfeeling brute, but the truth of the matter is I really don’t give a shit about anything that was, all that matters today is what is and what will be…and if I cannot change the past, I will change today and tomorrow…

Before I leave you, let me say that I am the menace in your eyes, the one you can’t escape…you may pray to your god to help but my strength is no match for him…blowing holes in your head is what’s stirring my aggression…

Socievil

For the purpose of this argument, let the word “socievil” be known as a word yet unknown to the English dictionary but very much alive.

The reason I chose this word is because often we contemplate the meaning of the term evil – from the beginning of religion, we have heard this term time and time again. The depredations of those considered evil are definitely noteworthy and often unforgivable. But do they really deserve the tag of evil? I do not think so – Hitler, Mussolini, Crowley…the names conjure up visions of brutality and forced submission, but again, I think not.

Society has made me evil. I think I should be an anarchist. Being an anarchist gives me the right to wage war against the faggots of society, the hypocritical bastard sons and daughters of societal rules. Society itself is the greatest sin that ever befell the world and the luminaries amongst us worship it.

You ask me why. Why because I live in a world hemmed in by rules of the land. And trust me if I could live anywhere else in the solar system I would. I just don’t know how to go about it.

Society throws upon me the most ridiculous rules, incongruous functioning of what we call a ‘civilized society’…well I say fuck civilization.

Sometimes I think its worth giving up everybody and everything in society to achieve one second of mental peace, oh but no! Why would someone want me to have peace of mind, it’s against their principles of life…

Plain and simple if we had no societal rules we’d be animals. Nothing bad about that I see. I see only a world of “do as thou wilt”, yet we suppress our natural basic desires to follow a path preached by some holy men and women. If we live for nothing, then we die for nothing. Why die for nothing?

Society is comprised of the vilest women and men this world will ever see – the practitioners of every crime conceivable and yet they will preach to you the ‘goodness of life’…yeah fuck you all!!!

Anarchy is the answer; anarchy is the only real world. Chaos cannot be reigned in. Chaos and anarchy will free you. Believe in a world of no rules, no society and no desperation, only freedom. The path to vanity is through a believer, the path to infinity through an unbeliever.

A great man once said ‘the most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we reallhy are: a subtle kind of murder.’ And I am inclined to agree.

The world needs a hero, an anarchist. The world needs chaos. Chaos and disorder. Hail anarchy!!! Fuck society!!!

The Evilness of Time

Sometimes I feel it is necessary to define time as evil. Reason being time defines who we are, what we do and why we do what we do and how. Those scientists may argue that this is called evolution, but then why does evolution need to define how time builds a man? Or for that matter how time breaks down a man?

Look at it this way: time makes prisoners of us all, we’re guarded against the passing of time, using our reasoning power and logical thinking to decide what’s best at this moment and what’s not. For e.g. if the world needed to come to a consensus on global warming, why is it that we wait until a global conference on global warming is held to create awareness? Or for e.g. why do office timings remain glued to a global standard when work is created and delivered 24/7? It seems only reasonable that it is convenient for the people of today to rely on time to do what they need to at a particular, preset moment. How boring.

What if I say that time stands irrelevant and evolution itself bears testimony to the fact. The age of dinosaurs began approximately 220 million years ago and we’ve gone through 2.5 billion years of oxygen. So why this fixation with time…what difference does it make now that we’ve lived, as humans, for a million years that we begin to dissect what life was like before we made it. With what conviction do we define us as being authoritative figures in defining time periods? Darwin coined evolution, but did he coin time? I think not. Time therefore should remain irrelevant to achieve perfect synchronicity between astral systems. The reason I say this is because while we are hell bent on searching for life on other planets, we leave behind time which for us may be years, hours, etc but in terms of spacial evolution, these might be at either end of the spectrum, so while we keep speculating when what took place in the universe, the universe itself blooms or is broken down.

Time waits for no man it is said, rather should be man waits for no time. We grow older every day, but is that what makes us be seen as responsible persons, of marriageable age, of societal position? It is time that defines our downfall. Why shouldn’t a child be treated as an adult the moment he is born? Yes, an absolutely ridiculous thought I agree, but if we are so damned good at programming climate control, then why can’t we programme an evolution that doesn’t define time. Why fornicate only when you can? Why eat a meal only at meal times? Why close bars and restaurants to sleep? The human mind and body can never stop wanting and needing, and these aren’t necessarily defined by time’s whims and fancies.

I’m not entirely sure, but I do think that dinosaurs and whatever else came before them didn’t appreciate the beauty of the two hands of the clock. They chomped away at gigantic plants as if time was non-existent, turned the earth into piles of dung at any time they wished, and perished at the end of their turn. That is the point I’m making. When we all know that life is but a cycle, that repeats itself, why then do we succumb to the evil of time? After all, you, as I, are here to enjoy what we call life for but an atom of countless universal spacial moments.